Therapy Room
How do I Know my Therapy is Working?
What are this signs of progress in therapy? What changes are we looking for in our lives? What is a fulfilling life? In this article, we explore the milestones of a successful therapy process.
How do I know my therapy is working?
As a practical therapist, I work with people to help them facilitate real changes in their lives. At the start of my work with every new client, we have a detailed discussion about the changes they want to see unfold in their lives.
Many people come to therapy to relieve their pain and suffering. They may not be thinking about their ideal life yet. Relief is certainly a big part of therapeutic work, but the definition of psychological health is not just the absence of suffering. It is optimal functioning in the given circumstances, with the body we live in, and with the skills we count on.
Optimal functioning is about connections. Ways we connect to ourselves, others, and the world. Much of how we feel about our lives is determined by how we relate to ourselves, others, and life. Traumatic events often cause disruptions in these relationships. This may show up as negative self-talk, distrust towards others, and a pessimistic view of the world. Therapy can help restore these connections.
What does it look like when therapy is working and connections are restored? In our sessions, we spend time reflecting on changes in the client’s narrative, in how they talk about themselves, the way they describe events, and what decisions they make. We do this to help clients pay attention to the changes and know what to work towards. Here are the things we usually focus on when reflecting on changes.
Improving relationship to self can show up as:
- noticing your body more
- taking up healthy activities that feel good, often things you used to enjoy as a kid
- feelings of competency
- fairness to yourself (as opposed to reflexive self-blame)
Improving relationship to others can show up as:
- questioning some of your relationships
- understanding the other person’s point of view
- conscious boundary setting (as opposed to just learning the motions of boundary setting)
Improving relationship to the life can show up as:
- accepting your life story
- increased feelings of joy and hope
- feeling that life is more “straightforward”
How does therapy help heal our connection with self, others, and life? Our brain is constantly interpreting our reality. Our interpretation of reality is based on our memories. Our memories are not “video recordings” of our past events, they are a product of our perception, our development at the time, and the meaning our mind assigned to them. Our emotional “lessons” are learned in the context of our relationship with our caregivers.
Lifespan Integration therapy works by re-consolidating our core memories in the context of a healthy therapeutic relationship (LI therapists are required to undergo their own therapy to develop their own healthy attachment patterns). This process helps re-write our emotional patterns and heal our relationships with self, others, and life.
When you imagine successful therapy, what comes to mind? What would be different in your daily life?
More about memory work in the upcoming posts. Until the next post!
Karyna Capote, MCP, RCC
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